Foolish headlines for April 1
Thursday, 01 April 2010

April Fools Day always attracts a whole range of motoring-themed spoofs. Which ones did you spot?

schueytasche-209On this very site you might have read that Michael Schumacher is aiming to win the F1 championship while sporting a beard, and has grown a moustache (right) in preparation for the Malaysian GP as this story suggests.

The giveaway is the supposed German newspaper story that's the source: Der Narrvonheute is German for 'today's fool' and if you look closely you'll see the story is written by one Ralf Piolo – an anagram of April Fool...


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Hyundai offered us 'service from first to last', with a 'humane' disposal service for cars which had reached the end of the road.

"Research by Hyundai has revealed that some such customers feel guilty abandoning their cars to an unknown fate, and are looking for a way to give their trade-in a dignified way out," said the April 1 press release.

"To cater for these sensitive souls, Hyundai is to become the first manufacturer in the world to offer discreet, dignified and dedicated disposals for old cars. Rather than being unceremoniously crushed, one of two Hyundai accredited companies – AP Rhyl and PH Ohul – will collect the deceased motor and take it to one of three new ‘Garages of Rest’, conveniently situated in public parks and beauty spots around the UK."

Full burial costs £2,000 but for customers who want a slightly cheaper option "or just didn’t like the car that much" Hyundai says it will "‘cuddle’ it into a compact cube and then bury that for just £1,500."


Total911 magazine reported on the re-introduction of the Porsche 912, which was a lower-priced, four-cylinder version of the 911. They quoted arketing manager Avril Dummkopf: “UK buyers are stuck in traffic jams much of the time, so have no need for a powerful car,” she explained. “American drivers, meanwhile, are too busy drinking coffee to drive properly. It is only us Germans, and perhaps the Italians on a good day, who really drive 911s as they are meant to be driven."


main.wd_40Marketing news site The Drum reported that WD-40 was moving into the after-shave market. "It has been reported that WD-40 will launched the aftershave having been ‘inundated’ by requests from both men and women who claim to love the smell," said a story by reporter Avril Fule.


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Seat revealed the Leon Ecomotive Prototype, said to include a 545-litre (120-gallon) fuel tank "which, working on the basis of the new Ecomotive’s extra urban economy figure of 83.1 mpg, gives the ultra-green Leon the unique ability to cover a full 10,000 miles between fill-ups."

The result is that this new prototype "is able to offer many of its lucky owners the luxury of never having to visit the filling station again."

"Since the SEAT comes with a 12-month/10,000-mile service interval as standard, the new prototype model need only ever be fuelled by a SEAT dealer. As such, the car is not fitted with a conventional fuel filler flap or cap, the diesel instead being refilled via a special nozzle in the boot."

Seat claims the rear seats have been removed to make space for the new fuel tank and the brakes have been uprated to cope with the increased fuel load – which would be around 400kg.

"Clearly, you’d be a fool not to see the benefits of this new Leon Ecomotive," said Seat's Head of PR Mike Orford.


Goodwood revealed that its 'moving motor show' in July will have a novel power supply. "To reduce the number of generators used on site, this year’s event will be powered by natural methane gas, taken directly from Goodwood’s extensive herd of Dairy Shorthorn cattle," said a press release. "This rare breed of cows usually supplies Goodwood’s delicious organic milk and organic beef products.  However, between 1-4 July, Goodwood’s Dairy Shorthorn cattle herd will generate enough methane to power the entire Festival site."


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BMW's contribution centred around the upcoming general election and offered its customers the 'Political Roundel Attachment Tag' or PRAT by which BMW drivers could show their political allegience.

"Uwe Beanhadde, Head of Made-up Technology at BMW’s renowned Forschungs und Innovationszentrum in Munich, said: 'We have been working on this innovation for a number of years and see it as a niche with potentially wide appeal. One of the most popular features, sure to strike a cord with the floating voter, is that the roundel can be replaced in a matter of seconds should the opposition suddenly seem more appealing.'"


Williams F1 driver Nico Hülkenberg announced he was changing his name, because Hülkenberg was too long and cumbersome. The story on Hülkenberg's official website quoted manager Willi Weber: "The name 'Hülkenberg' was too difficult to bring to market, because it is much too long. 'Hulker' is shorter and even sounds way more dynamic."


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Auto Windscreens enlisted BTCC driver Tom Chilton to endorse its latest innovation: the prescription windscreen. A bi-focal screen was said to be next.


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And finally Infiniti released details of its in-car hunger monitoring system. "The system will not only alert the driver of the need to stop for food but will also navigate the car to the nearest restaurant that suits the driver’s taste and pocket. To be called Gastronomi, it could become an option on the all new Infiniti M performance luxury saloon which goes on sale across Europe from September."

 

 
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